GET HELP

Do you use words to hurt?:
You're fat.
You're ugly.
No one else will want you.
You are so stupid.

Do you use violence and force to prove a point or get what you want?:
Hitting, punching, kicking, choking, pushing, pinching, grabbing.

Do you play mind games or control with threats?:
If you leave me, I will kill you.
If you don't do what I say, I will leave you.
I'm so sorry for hurting you, I will never do it again.
Here's where I keep my gun, don't make me use it on you.
If you would just listen to me, I would not have to do this.

Chances are if you said YES to any of the above questions, you use power, control and abusive behavior to get what you want.

If you WANT to change and get help, you can.

If you do not want to change, you may very well become one of the statistics and end up hurting someone you love, injuring yourself, locked up in jail or even dead.

Domestic abuse and dating violence are social diseases. You can BREAK THE CYCLE by breaking your silence and seeking help!

Why do you CHOOSE to ABUSE?

• You learned the behavior from someone else and have no concept of what is healthy in a relationship, and/or
• You were abused as a child, and/or
• You need to be the authority in the relationship or at home and being abusive gives you a false sense of power and control, and/or
• Deep down you dislike yourself and are insecure, so to cope with these feelings you take it out on those around you through power and control, and/or
• If you are a make, treating women and children like "property" or as inferior beings, is accepted in your culture, and/or
• Being abusive is normal to you, you know no other way to interact with those closest to you, and/or
• You are financially stressed out or ashamed about how your life turned out, so being abusive gives you a false sense of power, and/or
• You feel worthless and that makes you angry and hungry for power and control, and/or
• You have no idea what healthy looks like in a relationship, and/or
• You have no idea how to discipline your child(ren) without screaming, hitting, or threatening, and/or
• You have an untreated mental illness, and/or
• Because you can and no one is stopping you.

So, where do you turn for help?

1. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or pastor at church-someone who will not judge you or make you feel ashamed.
2. Seek counseling.
3. Call 1-888-606-HOPE and we will do our best to refer you to someone in your community who will listen. Purple Ribbon Council does not provide counseling services.
   But, we do offer supportive care to link victims, surviving children of domestic homicide victims and abusers to appropriate resources and help.